My son and I agreed that he would begin drug testing once he hit middle school. We view it both as a precautionary thing and a leadership thing. My point has always been that the first time he is offered something, I want him to know that there is a good chance that I'll find out about it.

Each household has it own ways to impose responsibility. I prefer to offer examples. Interestingly I grew up learning more what not to do then what to exemplify. We have employed contracts but on a case by case situation; do not recall any contracts concerning uses of vehicles. We actually endeavored to avoid a need for either child to own a car and bear the costs of ownership; it basically worked.

After the month is over, the contract is null an void?
I have rules. Call me day and night if you decide to drink. I will pick you up anywhere (hello sacred heart 2 hours away)
Tickets...all yours. I don't care If you have to work FT time to pay them. Obey the law.
Road rage (I have never tolerated)...the car will belong to me. Each of my boys have a gas card that I pay for (traveling back and forth to school is expensive)--just last night I took Chris' card away not because of anything to do with driving.
Parenting is a tough gig.
I like your contract safety first!

Does the individual have the right to legal representation prior to executing the agreement?

Having gone through 4 new drivers, I think its a great idea. Given its contents, I would keep it in effect as long as they are driving my car and under my insurance.

Sounds familiar, Nance! Yes, been there, done that. Worked well. In exchange for me buying our twins a car to share (!!) starting the end of their junior year of high school, there were promises that had to be made, and penalties for non-compliance. Just like in the real world they were about to enter. And I think it's helped prepare them for it better than if we hadn't gone that route.

Donna Levine wrote Although our contracts were oral (no shoes for the shoemakers kids) we had a formal understanding which i must say they complied with. They kept in touch while using the car, never drove stoned or drunk etc.

Contracts are a great way of making sure the kids understand the rules and consequences. My son was so good at obeying the rules, that now he prosecutes those who don't!

I admire and respect all the above perspectives. Thought not a parent I'm sure I would have had some ground rules given the seriousness of this activity.

While I am a fan of democracy, there's no place for it in our house. There's a set of "written" rules, but far more important are the unwritten rules. We instilled in our brood responsibility, proper behavior and no nonsense. And it's worked perfectly except...

While we were in Spain last summer, our son had a bunch of his friends over to the house early on a Sunday morning (like 3am) where they were drinking very lightly (one Scotch a piece) and sitting out by the pool. Another kid, who isn't part of my son's core group of friends showed up, and began guzzling alcohol (like ten shots in fifteen minutes). He passed out and some of the girls got frightened and demanded that the ambulance be called (they were 18 then). So the volunteer ambulance arrived, as did a police car.

Since our son wasn't sure what to do, he phoned my cousin up in Bedford Hills, and she spoke to the officer. Bottom line, he was given a ticket with a mandatory court date.

Now, we live in a small, tight-knit community that still upholds certain standards, so we got into our suits and ties and went down to village hall. The judge, whom I have known and worked with for over twenty years in civil society, was presiding over all matter of nasty cases of fraud, harassment, etc., so my son's open alcohol seemed like small beer (pun intended).

His was the last case called, and when John (the judge) saw me, he let out a hearty laugh and shook his head (signaling to me that his kids were a whole lot more rambunctious than mine-- they had a reputation in their day). Punishment was twenty hours of community service in Bronx food pantry. Justice done!

Moral of the story, our son was mortified and thought we'd be furious with him. Of course we weren't (my wife and I happen to think that a drinking age of 21 is ridiculous on so many levels), but admonished him never to let that kid back to the house. He was already on that one...

Raise 'em right, and they won't disappoint. That's my take on parenthood this week.

That last, prolix post was from me. Guess I forgot to check that was signed in. Obviously, I wasn't!