It has not happened to me in a while so I was, admittedly, unprepared when it did. I was speaking to another lawyer-a man- about a fee his client was obligated to pay my firm on behalf of my client (a typical circumstance in divorce cases). Despite me initially agreeing to reducing the fee and giving the husband sixty days to pay the reduced fee in order to settle the case, the fee had gone unpaid. When the due date to pay the fee had passed with no indication as to when it would be paid, I began calling and sending letters to the husband’s attorney.

My calls and letters went unanswered, so I took the next legal step. That step apparently finally warranted an answer from the attorney who called me. During the course of our telephone conversation-which began very civilly-the following words came out of the lawyer’s mouth, “I don’t understand why you’re being such a b***h about this.” The words shocked me into silence for a moment or two. Then my response quickly flowed out of my mouth. Believe me when I say that my response was very “unladylike.” I know it will be a long time before that man uses the “b” word again.

My response was very forceful to the attorney. But it took me a while after I hung up the phone to recover and move on with my day. His use of that word clearly affected me.

Are we still living in a time when a woman who acts assertively is considered a b***h but a man who acts the same is complimented and  called aggressive? And if we are, what will it take for us to accept men and women and their actions equally in the workplace?