Validation

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najumi, women,

Just recently, a woman I greatly admire - successful in business, family & spiritually-posted this quote on Facebook:

"The woman who does not require validation from anyone is the most feared person on the planet." - Mohadesa Najumi

Heavy stuff, but its Weds, so we can handle it.

I am happy to say that as I get older, I care less and less what people think. I'm on my path and I know the way.

However, sometimes, every one of us can use a little reality check, so I surround myself with people whom I can trust to tell me their truth, not always my truth, but an honest, unmanipulative point of view.

It's invaluable.

So perhaps, I do, on occasion, require validation, but clear, open, untainted ideas, not random opinions of every trend, media outlet, acquaintance, and world leader.

I am intoxicated with the idea of being the "most feared person on the planet," because that is so far from what I am, and, though it sounds powerful, it would be a lonely place to live.

This is a bigger problem for women. As Najumi writes, "in a world where 1 in 3 women are victims of physical or sexual violence, 53% of young girls feel unhappy with their bodies and 65% have eating disorders, women suffer the greatest amount of insecurity, low self-esteem and a general lack of confidence."

So lets all take some time today to encourage any females you have in your journey, to trust their own core and not need to run with the pack.

"The best thing we can do is be comfortable and happy in our skin and in this way no industry, system or group of people can subvert our energies or try to break us down." Thanks, Mohadesa, that goes for everybody.

Comments

Submitted by NULL (not verified) on Tue, 07/28/2015 - 22:49

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I attended the Westchester Tech meetup last night and one of the phone apps that was shown is called "Dynamite." Ever notice how nothing bad happens on Facebook? Basically Dynamite is video Facebook but with filters that allow the user to remain anonymous if they so choose. It's designed to get reality out there where everyone can see it (and maybe do something about it). One of the author's objectives is to get the app into the hands of a 15 year-old-girl in Iraq and get her to tell her story without fear because she can remain anonymous. Maybe this effort will change the world to a small degree.
-Lynn Amos

Submitted by NULL (not verified) on Wed, 07/29/2015 - 01:03

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The quote is powerful, though I think unrealistic for the majority of humans, men and women. Women may more readily seek the reality check, feedback or opinion as the case may be than men, but over time I've adapted to that as part of the vive la difference of the genders. Feedback is often useful even if I ultimately disagree or choose not to follow it, or blend it with other choices. It's the open mind and learning of other approaches & possibilities that interests me; ultimately we still make our own choices. Feedback is another avenue for learning what else is possible, new, useful, spot on in a given situation.

Submitted by NULL (not verified) on Wed, 07/29/2015 - 01:58

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Why would anyone WANT to be the most feared person on the planet? How does that relate to being happy in your skin?
Corey Bearak

I view validation more in existential terms involving ideas, and to a lesser extent, deeds.
I see no need to validate anyone's existence.
We each stand -- proudly -- on our own legs (or other platform where legs work less well).

Submitted by SoniaSaleh on Wed, 07/29/2015 - 02:55

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Sonia Saleh

I thought Wednesday was hump day not deep day.
There is strength in not needing validation and yet I think we all need it now and then. Its more about encouraging people to follow their own path and not always need to "fit" in. It can be scary to be different. So I agree, encourage all to be true to themselves and that will bring happiness to both yourself and them.

Submitted by JacquiBishop on Wed, 07/29/2015 - 03:42

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Jacqui Bishop

There's a fascinating book on the subject called Reviving Ophelia, which I read some years ago. It looks to me as if there's a connection between estrogen and female compliance, so that very lively assertive and independent girls often turn radically uncertain of their value when they hit puberty. The exceptions I saw were women whose strengths had been strongly and lovingly acknowledged and encouraged by their father. It's worth a read for anyone who's interested.
Cayce Crown

Oh anonymous with your self designated negative comment, it just means she doesn't need anyone's approval, which makes her frightening to many in our society.
Cayce Crown

Some humps are deep.
Thank you for your astute comment!
Cayce Crown

Yes, I remember that book from a few years back.
At the rec of the smart Jacqui Bishop, it's now on my list.
Thanks.
Gotham Book Club idea?
Cayce Crown

Great idea. Isn't it wonderful how this age of the Internet is waking up creativity in all these useful ways?!

Submitted by NULL (not verified) on Wed, 07/29/2015 - 07:46

In reply to by NULL (not verified)

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Just have to say----unless you walk a mile in my shoes (heels) don't even think about it.
Rona Gura

When you have teenage daughters, you have live in critics. :) I have learned to be happy with my choices that they question, i.e. my propensity to wear colorful clothing, and embrace my individuality.

Submitted by NULL (not verified) on Thu, 07/30/2015 - 00:06

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I endorse this initiative. Comment Counting Commissioner

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