The Gift That Keeps On Giving
See this is the problem with the mob mentality. When it surges without direction or ration, insane concepts slowly morph into rational solutions. Somehow everyone and their brother seem to think that the big problem and pending solution to the Ray Rice/Domestic Violence controversy is to implement a policy that treats all domestic violence issues with the same standards for punishment...in many people's minds, a "Zero tolerance" policy.
This mentality satisfies a lot of the mob's thirst for red meat as they devour one person after the next. The problem is that while popular, it is a stupid concept. The inability to comprehend the possible layers and levels that comprise the domestic violence enigma leads us into dangerous territory. It is convenient and fulfilling for everyone to watch the Ray Rice video and sit back fulfilled as they scream for people to be fired and banned from earning a living for the rest of their lives. It is easy to proclaim that no person should ever put their hands on another person, as if they hadn't really been a part of the human race for several generations.
Now we have Hope Solo, probably the greatest women's soccer goalie in history. She has entered the tempest by playing on the U.S. National Team, even though she is facing charges for domestic violence involving her younger sister and her 17 year old cousin (a boy). By the way, her husband was arrested in a domestic disturbance in the days leading up to her wedding, but wasn't charged. Now the media is attacking the soccer administrators for allowing her to play. Clearly they feel that her life should be destroyed as well whether she is guilty or not. Perhaps her husband's life should have been destroyed and if there is any evidence that her sister and her cousin engaged in any violence as well, perhaps we can add them to the list.
I bartended on the side for years, and when I was younger worked tons of weddings. I can't even tell you how often the combination of elevated emotions and alcohol led to circumstances of which people certainly wouldn't be proud. I would imagine if we took the entire Gotham family (probably one of the least violent subsets one could find) and were magically able to get films of the worst night they've ever had in their lives, we would all be shocked at how high of a percentage there would be that wouldn't stand up to the standard we are trying to establish across the board without any discretion. If all of you thought to yourself about everyone you know that you can ever remember getting into any type of domestic or family altercation, would you like to see their lives destroyed as a result of their trangressions? My brother and brother-in-law are both cops and the busiest nights of the year for them are when families spend a lot of time with each other.
The spectrum of domestic violence is way too gigantic to ever be properly corraled into any kind of a structured policy. We need to be intelligent people. We need to use discretion. Will it always work out perfectly, of course not. Should Ray Rice have gotten two games, of course not. But the one thing that I know for sure is that Hope Solo is not the same as Adrian Peterson, who is not the same as Ray Rice, who certainly is not the same as those other two NFL scoundrels who make Ray Rice's infraction look tepid. We have to be careful that we as a society do not continually seek to destroy people blindly and without compassion.

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Seems simple to me. if you don't have the emotional control to do that, you lose the privilege of becoming a millionaire for playing a game.
I do not think we need to focus on the "spectrum" of domestic violence just as we don't need to focus on the spectrum of rape or murder or manslaughter. Wrong in all instances.
I think it is a huge mistake to point to the history of human violence as an excuse for inaction. We used to do terrible things to each other - we strive to do better. We as a society are capable of making examples out of violent people who bash their fiance's head-in so as to show the world that hitting is wrong. Ray Rice may be paying a big price, but hopefully he is also providing a big lesson; a lesson that over time will make the world safer.
Goodell should be fired because he is terrible at his job and is not worth a fraction of the $44 million/year he earns.
Ray Rice should never play football again, and should consider himself lucky his fiance did not break her skull and die. He graduated from Rutgers with a 3.7. He should have the brains to figure out how to turn this mess into a positive life.
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I do not think the Ray Rice "backlash" is about a thirst for blood.Moreover, it is not about Ray Rice acting drunk and stupid at his wedding. He physically assaulted his then fiancee. As anonymous wrote, public figures should be held to a strict standard. They are modelling behavior to our children. I deal with domestic violence very often in my practice. It is an epidemic. Every aspect of our society, including public figures, must send the message that it should not be tolerated by a civilized society.
And lastly, as a practical matter, Rice must have a morals clause in his contract, which he clearly violated.
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I also think that Goodell should be fired for the way he handled not only the Rice situation but the last few weeks as well. He let the Ravens lobby him for leniency get in his way of doing what was right in the first place. It's only a matter of time until the media proves that there was a cover-up in this matter.
I do agree that there are levels of severity and the punishment should reflect those levels. Knocking out your fiancé is certainly different from shoving your brother in law at the family picnic, etc... And I don't agree that everyone should lose their job for it. It's up to the legal system to determine the consequences for ordinary citizens.
I do agree that 99% of people could not live up to the same scrutiny if it was applied to their worse night(s). All of us have things in our lives that we wish never happened. It's part of life and how we learn lessons.
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Now the right to earn a living is gone. The shame and heartache must be immense.
It should go without saying that I am not an advocate of domestic violence. I believe that these matters should be handled personally. I'm pretty sure I couldn't fire an employee over what goes on in their lives.
I also believe we should all be held to a higher standard not just athletes or entertainers.
Erik is correct, there is no "one size fits all"
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To all those who want to get rid of Goodell for blowing a call and admitting he blew it, why not punish everyone who makes a mistake. Are you trying to hold him to a higher standard than you hold yourself, your employees or your children. Or to ask it another way. (I am picking on attorneys because we have so many in the group) If an attorney hits and kills a child while speeding, should they lose their license to practice law. Or if the attorney hits his wife? Or to be fair, if the wife, who is an attorney, hits her husband.
To those of who who demand blood. If you can hold yourself and your family to the same standard, then go for it.
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My initial comment was #2 above. I do not see any area to place my name and do not like to comment anonymously.
- Josh Bernstein
I did read your blog. Quite carefully in fact.
"It is convenient and fulfilling for everyone to watch the Ray Rice video and sit back fulfilled as they scream for people to be fired and banned from earning a living for the rest of their lives."
My assumption here was that when you say "people to be fired" you were referring to Rice. That read to me like a defense of him; a defense that I find to be misplaced.
I think the difference between Solo and Ray Rice is well articulated by Brian Pinero from the National Domestic Violence Hotline:
“In the Ray Rice case, we’re talking about a smoking gun video that clearly shows someone who committed a crime. With respect to Hope Solo, all we have right now is a police report. She has not gone through the judicial process yet.”
I think this is why she is still playing and I don't find the question of how people feel about that nearly as compelling as your musings about domestic violence in general.
My interpretation of your blog is that a "Zero tolerance" policy towards domestic violence is "a stupid policy." I find that to be a reckless, dangerous, and dispassionate opinion.
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The comment about people being fired actually doesn't just refer to Ray Rice, but calls for Roger Goodell and even people in the Ravens organization to be fired. I admit that it doesn't necessarily mean they would be officially banned for life, but if someone is fired in a high profile case like this, nobody in their industry will ever go near them again. The point I was making was the lack of discretion that is being suggested in prospective policies pushed by the undeniable mob mentality that currently is driving this case. There is a player on the 49ers that people want to be removed from the line-up immediately, who has not been. The 49ers have said that they have looked at the case and believe that they should wait until the case plays itself out. There are also many people who say
'of course Rice has done this before'...without a single shred of evidence (including testimony from the wife) that there has ever been another incident. Domestic violence is not just a crime, but a problem. As I have stated before, the only thing worse than an abusive husband is an unemployed abusive husband. That doesn't mean that Rice shouldn't be punished, it means kicking him out of football and sending him and his wife on their way really doesn't help anyone except those of us at home watching.
I think that your interpretation of my "musings on domestic violence" are completely off-base. Many blog commenters often project their ideas of who I am and what I believe in, creating things that I did not say and do not believe. You essentially defend Hope Solo continuing to play using a comment from someone from the domestic violence hotline as if it refutes my position. In fact, I completely agree with you. The point of my question was to get people's feelings about that topic and to point out that the "Zero tolerance" policy people are seeking would prevent her or anyone else accused from playing until due process is given. I agree with his comment, but his comment would be irrelevant should such a policy be enacted. You interjecting his comment into the discussion essentially puts us on the same side with regards to maintaining discretion in adjudicating these types of cases.
In addition, him pointing out that Ray Rice's evidence being clear from the video further strengthens my point. I would imagine we are looking at less than 5% of all domestic violence charges having such clear evidence, probably far less. That would almost make using Rice's case to establish policy foolish. Hope Solo's case is far closer to the enigmatic evidence and accusations we are usually left to sift through in these cases, which is a big part of why they are so often not prosecuted the way we would like.
I do sincerely thank you for the discussion. People often steer clear of topics that are challenging, usually because they are afraid of what people will think. I try to engage intelligently, fairly and in civil discourse.
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