The bloggers had discussed doing a blog on happiness.  I don't know if I'm kicking off the week with it, or if this isn't exactly what we had in mind, but yesterday's tragedy involving Robin Williams certainly seemed to relate to the topic.

It has obviously been all over TV and Facebook.  People lamenting the loss, telling stories, speaking about their favorite Robin Williams movies. I loved Robin Williams as a man, an actor and mostly as a comedian.

This is a very difficult topic. Especially for those who have lost loved ones. Suicide is not a disease, it is an action. Depression is a condition. Bipolar may or may not be a disease or a condition. Does everyone that is diagnosed with it have it, probably not. There is nothing in what I'm saying that lacks compassion. There are people who are close to this topic who are emotional about it and angrily attack people who feel differently about it than they do.  I just feel that if we write off suicide as something that is beyond our control, as a legitimate means of pain management, or simply a condition of a disease, like cancer, I fear there would be more people who don’t think they can fight through it wity the right help.

Whenever I hear a horror story of a teen who commits suicide, and you see the monumental parade of tears, heartfelt thoughts and of course all of a sudden friendship with every single person in their school. I can't help but wonder if creating such a stardom at a time where so many of their peers are struggling through the emotional gauntlet that is adolescence makes it easier for a few kids to choose to end it all rather than to fight through it with the right help.

People often speak about depression as an illness, as a chemical imbalance.  I'm sure there is evidence for that, but does that mean when someone is depressed, that it is always a chemically diagnosed condition?  Does that mean that if we are properly chemically balanced, that our condition should be happiness, regardless of our environment? I think that is probably not the case.  I don't believe that the only difference between myself and Robin Williams is the grace of God.  I am not judging or being critical of Robin Williams or anybody else that is depressed or has committed suicide.  In fact, my guess is that whatever it was that forged Robin Williams incredible sense of humor as his suit of armor, his defense mechanism, probably started just as early in life as did that sense of humor.  Whatever it was that led to his ultimately giving in, that induced that humor, probably chased him his entire life.

Treating depression simply as a clinical exercise succeeds in relieving us all from the pressure of what starts that chase.  It allows us as a society to skip pver the environmental factors that create that condition.  I'm sure it was easy to diagnose all sorts of conditions and illnesses in Richard Pryor as he battled his depression and suicide attempt.  You don't need many tests however to understand how things can go wrong when a child is raised in a whore house.  This is ABSOLUTELY not a holier than thou judgment upon others.  It is, however, a suggestion to not naively ignore how life's ripple effects can metastasize.

I am uncomfortable with the idea of completely divorcing people who commit suicide from the pain they inflict on their loved ones. If you decide that the pain you are enduring is so severe that doing it is more important than the pain you will be inflicting on your loved ones, then let that be your decision. Perhaps Robin Williams finally decided that he battled his demons long enough and that he deemed his 60+ years on this earth and all of the people he loved and made laugh to be enough. Many people die in their 60’s with far less illustrious lives. Maybe he wrote a letter to his loved ones that will make them feel better about that. I honestly have no idea about his or anyone else’s lives. I just can’t feel that it is good, right or healthy to remove the impact of your decision on those who love you from the discussion. That is not an idea that lacks compassion or judges anybody.

Many people suffer from depression. Many people do work their way through it. Hang on for your family if for no other reason. There is no condemnation for those who cannot go on, but refusing to give up despite the pain, hopelessness, failure, or whatever your burden may be, is truly courageous and heroic.  Fighting too is an action and should be lauded at least as loudly as we mourn those who are not able to continue. People who are out there fighting now should know and hear that.

As so many have said, if you know of someone that you are worried about, you should do your best to reach out to them to try and get them help.  Sometimes it may be chemical, sometimes it may be something else.