House Speaker John Boehner announced today that given its dismal record, the New York Giants would be defunded by the federal government when Congress convenes tomorrow. 

When a reporter pointed out that the federal government does not fund the New York Giants, the Speaker then declared that Obamacare is the reason for its 0-6 record, and that it was also the cause of the viral breakout among Tampa Bay players. It was also the reason why his car did not start this morning, he added.

Senator Ted Cruz (R Texas) said that the effect of Obamacare is that some Giants players and coaches are forced by the new law to becoming part time employees of the organization, which he said is destroying the fabric of America, and is also causing longer lines at Starbucks. 

The White House issued a statement saying that President Obama does not really care about the Giants, he is a Bears fan, though he does plan to follow the Brooklyn Nets this year which has become an exciting team.  The White House did express willingness to meet with the Speaker however to discuss options to defunding the Giants and promised to have cookies for him.