Submitted by MitchTobol on

Letting go

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Lifestyle

I'm experiencing one of the more difficult parts of parenting, letting go. It's harder because Jake is living with me so I see first hand how he runs his life. I have total faith and trust in him and his ability to succeed. The issue I'm grappling with is mine not his. It's a philosophy I have often talked about...allowing your child to be who they are - not what you think they should be. This is definitely easier said than done.

 

Ask every loving parent what they want for their child. They will most likely answer to be happy and find passion, love and good friends in their life. However, we cannot control their destiny. Each child needs to find their own path.

 

We can only be tour guides. I need to remind myself of that everyday.

Comments

Submitted by NULL (not verified) on Fri, 07/19/2013 - 21:55

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That's why I have dubbed the Young Pros Group the "Facing The World" Group. Does Jake have a mentor?
Fred Klein

The above comment is mine from a different computer=2 comments

Submitted by Linda_Newman on Fri, 07/19/2013 - 22:25

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Linda Newman

Who wouldn't know that was your comment? Of course, Jake has access to the web site and your thoughts, Mitch. Let's see if HE comments...

Submitted by NULL (not verified) on Sat, 07/20/2013 - 00:17

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My journey has only just begun with this, but this first is going to be so hard. This September my sons starts kindergarten. I am really freaking out over it. I never realized how hard it would be to let him go. It has all been going so fast. I bet you can remember these days like they were yesterday Mitch.

Submitted by giaheeg on Sat, 07/20/2013 - 00:21

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Gia Heeg

That last comment was mine, I thought I had logged in. Sorry.
Mitch Tobol

Yes I can. I walked my kids to school most everyday. It's some of the best memories I have...walking hand in hand. Although you are freaking out now, your feelings will fade as you build trust in the school and your son.
Cynthia Somma

That has to be both liberating and frightening at the same time. It's also a gift to show faith and confidence. Kudos to you both!

Submitted by Susan_Pickman on Sat, 07/20/2013 - 01:01

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Susan Pickman

I understand your concern and your wise counsel. We are tour guides to our children. They must follow their own path and we hope that makes them content (and pleased to share their lives with us, always).

Submitted by Erik_Scheibe on Sat, 07/20/2013 - 04:17

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Erik Scheibe

I remember my first freak out when my son started swimming lessons even before pre-school. The group's rule was no parents. What?!? How was my son going to survive without me? Surely they'd have to make an exception for me!! Two hours later...he was fine...movin on. He's 11 now and I've learned that I'm just along for the ride. I set the standard for right and wrong and everything else is his gig. Will always be there for him though.
Rona Gura

I'm at the same point in my journey with my two older girls who have both graduated college. I cannot tell you how many times a day I have to literally hold my tongue.
Corey Bearak

The fun of parenting....letting go but continuing to share advise.
Has anyone yet experienced the counsel (wise) of their child. What comes around truly goes around!
Letting go when the offspring lives with you becomes a real art form. I basically and consciously took a different approach than I experienced living at home through the start of my post law school career.
I suspect Mitch's approach is not dissimilar to what I'd advocated as opposed to my experience in Jake's shores.

Submitted by Lucas_Meyer on Mon, 07/22/2013 - 00:41

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Lucas Meyer

Definitely feeling that with our older daughter who is going to be a senior in college starting next month.
Jake Tobol

"Don't write" he says, after a whole conversation about his blog and how people have commented back. I got the impression that he wanted me to comment and i felt a wave of pressure as he leaned over my shoulder to read my comment in progress on this blog. I felt myself second guessing everything i wrote wondering what he would think but the irony being that not only is this his blog but he's webmaster so he'll read this comment at some point anyway. So instead of letting go and leaving the conversation, he switches viewpoints. "Don't write," well now i want to write, just out of spite, but it's in fact exactly what he wanted. Now, after inception has already occured he lets go, letting the seeds of reverse psychology grow in my brain and i'm stuck writing this comment about nothing in response to a blog about something wondering if i should ever click post...

But are you actually letting go dad? Or do you just think you are?

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