Authentic or Brutal

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Lifestyle

Every year one of my friends reviews his relationships and categorizes them creating a top ten list. He has a bunch of criteria, some of which is strange but one particular point got me thinking.

 

His top friends are those who can he be most authentic with. As he says, "...the people when I'm around I can be myself, say whatever pops into my head."

 

It struck me that he may treat some people very brutally, even those he loves. Although brutual honesty can be just what's needed in a relationship, I think the practice needs thought, not just saying whatever comes to one's mind. The emphasis in brutal honesty should be on the honesty, not on the brutality.

Comments

Submitted by Phyllis_Newbert on Fri, 01/11/2019 - 21:49

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Phyllis Newbert

If you're going to be brutally honest with someone you had better be ready to receive it back.
Corey Bearak

Not sure I believe in filters. I believe honest and tasteful, not argue v a sharp wit but “brutal” only okay when appropriate aka when it makes sense. Wonder low I’d react to that friend.
Tessa Marquis

Be Real.
Brutti ma Buoni - Ugly but GOOD! The best of all the Italian "cookies" and our family motto.
It is okay to have people dislike you, as long as you know why. I don't mind being called Brutal or Direct or Honest or even Rude...but not the anti-female words.

Submitted by MarilynGenoa on Sat, 01/12/2019 - 00:18

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Marilyn Genoa

When "honesty" is done in a way that consideration is not given to the impact on the person listening I don't see it as something positive. We all need to vent now and then, but we need to remember words have meaning and are capable of inflicting as much, if not more, harm than a physical blow.
Rona Gura

I am a huge believer in filters. Not just personally but even more so professionally. I take time to think about what I plan on saying before it's said with the most thought given to whether it will help advance my client's case or just add "fuel" to the fire. I have watched so many lawyers tank cases because they choose not to filter their words.
Ellyn Finkelstein

Your last sentence sums that up beautifully. After all at times being brutally honest even to the best of friends can have unintended consequences...

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