Submitted by Fred on

Choosing Sides

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Lifestyle

One of the most valuable things my father ever taught me is that "There are three sides to every story: your side, my side and the truth".

In these politically charged times we are constantly inundated with strong opinions on Facebook, Twitter or political list serves.  I am struck by the self assured vehemence of people whose position or opinions are diametrically opposed to mine.  Not just random people, but oft times friends (and relatives) who I have a long fruitful history with and whom I respect. I'm constantly tortured by the fact that given our common history and upbringing that we could have such diametrically opposed opinions.  So much so that I question my sanity (reality) and or theirs. 

The safe solution is just not to talk politics with these good people. However, inevitably, subjects of the day come up and before you know it you're  into it.

I could go on and on, but I believe you understand what I'm talking about.

I keep saying and hoping that there will be a day of reckoning, but failing that the solution is to find solace in my father's wisdom and that the Truth will out.  

Comments

Submitted by Judy_Mauer on Thu, 02/08/2018 - 20:23

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Judy Mauer

I am in the same situation with my friends and relatives. However opinions aside- we know the one person who is not telling the truth.
Benjamin Geizhals

“Those in the right fire upon others in the right.” Maybe the answer is to stop firing.

Submitted by VincentPetraro on Thu, 02/08/2018 - 21:11

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Vincent Petraro

Fred, your dad's advice is awesome and all should try to follow it! All of us!!!
Fred Klein

Amazing how our blogs complemented each other

Submitted by Fred on Thu, 02/08/2018 - 21:15

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Fred Klein

It really is a most profound concept

Submitted by RobertGiamboi on Thu, 02/08/2018 - 21:30

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Robert Giamboi

No religion, no politics
Dana Charlton

Better yet, the current president will be out...the sooner the better.
Good blog, Fred!
Cayce Crown

You may want to rethink your desire for a “day of reckoning.” Take a look in the mirror, we are ALL responsible for where we are. Honest, nonhostile conversation with others brings me closer.

Submitted by Steven_Lichtenstein on Thu, 02/08/2018 - 23:21

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Steven Lichtenstein

I’ve been thinking the same for the last 17 years beginning with the nutty election and hanging chads in 2000. How can such intelligent people I admire and respect have such a diametrically opposed world view; especially those who come from a similar ethnic, working class Judeo-Christian upbringing.

The reality though is Best expressed by the ancient philosopher Seneca where he proclaimed “time discovers the truth”.
David Abeshouse

I face the "search for the truth dilemma" daily in my work as an arbitrator of business cases, hearing evidence and arguments from 2 (or more) sides in each case. The challenge is daunting but exhilarating. As for politics, I see no real gain in trumpeting (!) one's views from the rooftops of social media, because you're more likely to lose the respect of those who oppose your views than you are to gain the respect of those who agree -- that's human nature, especially on social media, where the dialogue is barely a conversation for the most part. Those who hold the most extreme views on any side of an issue or a set of issues usually fail to see the flaws underlying their partisan beliefs. Just my 1.94385749 cents....
Norman Spizz

I have a very close friend who has a sign on his front door that says "You are entering a politically free zone"
Fred Klein

I think the discourse is healthy. We must speak out and stand up for what we believe
Vincent Chirico

Your Dad's advice is right on the money, and kudos to Benjamin and Cayce as well. However, in these charged times, we must also sometimes reach out to those expressing diametrically opposed opinions, and speak more in an effort to come together and bridge whatever divides can be accommodated, rather than heed our natural instincts to dig in. Respectful dialogue can work, so long as the differing voices learn to listen as well as they speak. This is America - no one ever said free speech would ease challenges...i am reminded of reading a feature on John McCain about 15 years ago, when he recounted his annual effort to reach out to senators espousing diametrically opposing views - he often reached out to Mo Udall, an unabashed liberal, and the two often set out to work together on issues they could agree/compromise on. We could certainly use more of that these days...
Corey Bearak

In the political realm broadly defined anything bordering on what I do professionally gets ill-served when something inaccurate record goes uncorrected. I often argue the failure by the other side to challenge my facts means they prefer to avoid playing up the truth they prefer to avoid giving any attention to (The press covers the conflict over facts and the truth or veracity, more than anything.)
That said often ridiculous comments that most know outside any realm of truthfulness I need not reply to and remain happy to have others point out the fallacy or inaccuracy thereof.
That said we learn a lot from our parents and grandparents (especially so in my case (mom's dad) and sometimes that works well and many other times it perhaps corrupts one's world view.
I work with folks who have interesting world views and we can do some amazing things in the areas where we agree.
Victoria Drogin

There is self assured vehemence on both sides because, sadly, people are arguing based on emotion rather than rationality. I have dear friends on both sides with whom we can have rational, respectful conversations- where we value each other’s opinions. But sadly, I agree that this is the exception. More often it devolves to the ad hominem attack: I disagree with you, therefore you are an idiot (or worse). :(
I read somewhere that the most prevalent and satisfying human emotion is.... not love, or even anger.... but self righteousness. Making someone else “wrong” makes us “right”.
I try to teach my students (and myself) to live by the maxim: “If you can’t argue intelligently for both sides of an argument, then you probably don’t understand the issues well enough to argue for either side.”
I agree with cayce. We all need to look in the mirror and take responsibility for our own contributions before pointing fingers.

Submitted by NeilHollander on Fri, 02/09/2018 - 09:25

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Neil Hollander

And this day of reckoning of yours ? Who is it exactly that you are putting in the cross hairs ? Who is it that will be reckoned with ? You ? Me ? I get reckoned with every day . I know you do to for its guys like us that take our own inventories . Some days I can self loathe . Others I am proud of who I am . We are dealing these days with different ideologies . Rather than differences of opinion . It's a tougher nut to crack .A damn schism if you will . Kudos to Cayce and Victoria for laying it out rationally . It takes the form of different regimes . Can you sit in a pub with an ardent Communist over a glass of vodka and have a meaningful conversation with your Comrade and not become hostile ? Yes of course you can . I think what's happened to us is going to take a lot of hard work to mend . Even in your post this morning a couple of people have already ignited the perverbial inflammatory statement . Restraint is the word you and I use so often . Spread it around Gotham . It's good karma . I should practice what I preach . Not so easy Derf !

Hollander Sends

Submitted by Fred on Fri, 02/09/2018 - 10:13

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Fred Klein

Restraint and listening would be nice

Submitted by NeilHollander on Fri, 02/09/2018 - 10:20

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Neil Hollander

I ALWAYS listen but I tend to blurt .
Rona Gura

Even within my nuclear family we still have to tread lightly. It's sad since, in the past I used to love debating politics. Now, it's not fun.

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