Submitted by Rona_Gura on

The Guilt Weighs Heavy

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Lifestyle

My children range in age from 20 to almost 26. They are hardly babies. So, you can imagine my surprise when I experienced two episodes of “Mommy guilt,” within the past two weeks.

 

The first episode occurred when my youngest daughter called from college in Buffalo, obviously sick. My initial reaction was to get on a plane and take care of her. But, as she was so far away, the best I could do was to tell her to go to the doctor. The subsequent telephone calls about how lousy she was feeling and the  allergic reaction she developed to the medication they gave her left me guilt ridden that I was unable to take a plane to be with her.

 

 

The second bout with Mommy guilt occurred a few days later. I was rushing to get out of the house to get to court for a trial I had scheduled, when I received a call from my older daughter. She was clearly upset and told me she had been rear ended by a truck a few miles from our house.  Knowing that there was no way I could get to her and also get to court on time, all I could do was confirm she was ok, tell her to call the police, and our local car repair service. On my drive in to court all I could think about was what a horrible mother I was for not running to the scene of the accident.

 

Mommy guilt is strong. Does it ever go away?

 

 

Comments

Cayce Crown

Have no experience but certainly hope so, it's not helping them or you.

Submitted by RoxanneBrowning on Mon, 05/02/2016 - 00:26

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Roxanne Browning

There should be no guilt. You have raised them properly and now they need to figure it out on there own. I have a 26 yr old too.

Submitted by Anne_Kleinman on Mon, 05/02/2016 - 04:28

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Anne Kleinman

This mother of 5 (almost all younger than any of yours and one who lives out of the country) says - empathy yes, guilt no. It is one thing if there is a catastrophic situation and another pair of hands is needed urgently, but for a run of the mill situation, which both of these were, if you can help great, but guilt, nope not here and you should not have any either.
Ellyn Finkelstein

You were there for them. They were able to speak with you and I know that goes a very long way. Rush to help them - I would feel that way too...no matter what age they are.
I had two phone calls from my son once when he was in college - telling me he was on his way to have emergency surgery and another time even more disturbing in regard to a fire in his apartment building. I really wanted to RUN to be there ASAP!
Nancy Schess

I am convinced it never goes away, even though it is thoroughly undeserved guilt.

Submitted by DebraMiron on Mon, 05/02/2016 - 16:28

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Debra Miron

A mother is on call 24/7. The immediacy and intimacy of a mother's love is there whether the children are babies or grown adults. I still remember getting a call from my eldest daughter who was rushed to the ER while a student at Emory... The guilt of not being able to be by her side can still be felt nearly 6 years later. Our children know our love knows no bounds and travels infinite miles. The best gift we can give our children is teaching them how to navigate through life and to know that our love is there always.

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