As a blogger during these difficult times, I have been trying to keep my blogs upbeat. I felt that we have enough difficult news around us and, perhaps, our blogs could be a small distraction. But I am sad and angry today and I want to share those feelings. Maybe some of you also need to share your grief and anger.

Last week, my next door neighbor’s-and very close friend-28 year old son, Justin, unexpectedly passed away. (it was not virus related). Immediately upon hearing the news I ran to her home and, instinctively, held her as she sobbed. When my husband walked into her home, he gently pulled me off her and, quietly, reminded me that I should not be touching her. I was at a loss as to how to comfort her.

Losing a child is horrific in even the best of circumstances but the current conditions just raised the grief to another level. The funeral could only be graveside and limited to ten people. We gave up our place at the funeral so Justin’s friends-who sorely needed to be there-could attend. We attended the funeral via Facetime. I set up and attended numerous Zoom Shivas for her various friends and family. While it was the only thing we could do, it did not feel like it was enough. During the past week I have sat outside with her (when it wasn’t raining), several feet away, and tried to be there for her as she mourns. But the lack of physical contact is challenging and it just does not feel like enough.

A few days after Justin passed, I learned that a lawyer whom I liked and respected had passed due to the virus. He died alone, as so many others have, as his family was prohibited from being in the hospital with him. Normally, I would have attended the funeral and shiva and tried to tell his family how I felt about him. But, in these times, that could not happen. I sent a card to his wife. Also, knowing that he was planning a Spring trip to Israel, I had a tree planted in Israel in his memory. But, again, it does not feel like enough.

The virus is affecting everything we do, including mourning. And that makes me sad and angry.