Bittersweet story. Every day I work hard towards my afterlife… But nothing would be worth it without Victoria by my side to enjoy it with.

A wonderful story

She’s a Livertarian!

Powerful and beautiful. And sad. I guess when you have no choice, the only choice is to choose. We ultimately are the only ones who decide how we want to spend our lives. But like Paul said.....hard to think about if he’s not with me. I remember reading Joan Didion‘s Year of Magical Thinking, her book detailing the year following losing her beloved husband. It was very hard for me to get through it. Devastating.

I agree. She should write about her chronicles. I’d be interested in reading someone’s exploration of the self after a major loss. Amazing transition from being a couple into becoming widowed.

If you know me, you know I've faced the possibility being in that position more than once. I don't even like the thought of the devastation losing Jerry would cause. It's something some of us will have to face; but (still quoting Game of Thrones)..."not today".

A loss is always tough. It's even tougher rebounding and creating a new direction afterwards. Very positive indeed.

At this writing she’s up to 66!

From personal experience I know that everyone reacts differently to the loss of a beloved spouse. My sister and I lost our husbands within months of each other. We were both married to amazing wonderful men whom we both loved very deeply, yet the courses we plotted for ourselves after that loss was very different.

Not sure how I would deal with such a loss having already walked up to the precipice and faced it without much grace at all. Fortunately, we have been blessed with more time together. I'm thinking, however, that to honor someone with whom we have shared a deep, loving relationship, it's important to move through our grief, turn towards joy and live life to the fullest in their honor. Clearly, we only know when we are on that part of our journey. I just returned from a funeral hoping that the husband, parents, and siblings are able to find peace after their loss.

“Turn towards joy and live life to the fullest!”

She made lemons from lemonade.

Life gives us options. Some pretty and some not so much . I would group our species into Suvivors or Casualties . Or to put it another way , those of us who ACT vs those of us that REACT . Darwin would call it survival of the fittest . That being said .... Everybody has a plan til they get punched in the gut .
The trick you see is to have a game plan from the get go and never stray . Or at least be able to call audibles at the line of scrimmage right before the snap .
I married a woman who lost her not so beloved husband when her ( now my ) kids were 3 and 3 months .No life insurance and no time to grieve . Right back at the survival game . Diane jumped right back on that horse and built a brand new life . When I came on the scene I was certainly no Knight in Shining Armor . 3 of my own kids and no one to help raise them . Our friendship of 25 years blossomed into the best thing either of us could imagine . A long and winding road for sure but we reap now baby all that we have sewn. We are both hard as nails . What sustains us is that we came through it together .” There are things I’ve done I wish I could undo” sings Willie Nelson . But one things for sure . Diane and I nailed it !
Kudos to your friend . It takes a will of steel . Be proud she came across your life Derf .


Hollander Sends

Can’t wait to meet Annie Oakley!

Good for her. Cause it ain't easy to put it mildly. I often think of my mom who lost her spouse when she was in her 60"s often wonder how she bounced back. Wish I could ask her.