Fred, as he loves to do, wrote a comment on Erik’s blog this week that exasperated me. Fred wrote: “Single parent homes is one of our greatest problems.” I was a single parent for eight years. During that time, I was faced with many preconceptions about my children as a result of my marital status. Thus, I am very sensitive to Fred’s sentiments.

I have previously blogged about an incident wherein my older daughter defended her friend to a parent of a child who had been bullying her. Admittedly, in defending her friend, Calli was quite rude to the parent of the bully. In response, the parent turned to me and said, "I guess that's what your child becomes when she's raised by a single parent." Without skipping a beat I responded, "If you mean intelligent and loyal, then I'll take a single parent family over an intact family any day."

I also faced prejudice against single parent households in places where one would never expect it to exist. When she was very young, my younger daughter exhibited difficulty with sitting still and focusing in class. Instead of discussing with me the possibility of my daughter having attention issues, a teacher actually said to me that it “could be a manifestation of her broken home.” A few years later, when the problem persisted, my now husband, suggested that I take my daughter to a neurologist to be tested. After proper testing, she was diagnosed with ADHD, placed on medication, and began to excel in school. As I have come to learn, my daughter’s focusing problems were the result of a chemical imbalance and had nothing to do with my then marital status.

These are just two blatant examples of the ignorant statements that were made to me during that eight year period but there were so many more. Both of my daughters are now young women each of whom I am very proud of. Calli is pursuing a Masters Degree in Social Work at Fordham University and Sydney is in a five year Masters program in occupational therapy at SUNY Buffalo where, upon graduation, she plans on working with children with special needs. I have to admit, however, there’s a part of me that would love to find every person who prejudged my children because of my marital status and show them the fine young women my daughters have become.