Submitted by Erik_Scheibe on

Compassiona For Whom?

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Lifestyle

Most people have heard about the Running Back Adrian Petersen's two year old son who was beaten to death by his mother's boyfriend.  At least two different sports columnists wrote pieces decrying Petersen's personality and lifestyle choices for having multiple children with different mothers without being involved in their lives.  Both or these reporters were widely castigated for their "bad timing" and "lack of compassion".

 

My answer to that would be "Compassion for Whom."  This penchant for just making babies and not being responsible parents in their lives and for their welfare seems to have become socially acceptable in modern day society, and particularly in the professional sports world and Hollywood.

We seem to be afraid to condemn bad behavior these days as being wrong.  These celebrities and the women that have "hooked up" with them to make broken families do so with impunity.  In out quest to be more compassionate for people in general, have we become less compassionate for children?

Comments

Fred Klein

Single parent homes is one of our greatest problems.
Rona Gura

I am going to disagree emphatically with Fred. Bad behavior can occur in "in tact" families as well as single parent homes. Its a function of the parents' personalty and sense of responsibility not their marital status.

Submitted by Erik_Scheibe on Wed, 10/23/2013 - 08:29

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Erik Scheibe

While I agree with everything Rona just said (wow you must get that a lot), I strongly agree with Fred's comment.

Certainly being raised in a single parent household does not ensure failure, however, on the aggregate, children are raised much healthier and with a far greater chance of success and happiness in a two parent situation than in a single parent situation (please note that divorce does not preclude the existence of a two parent situation...it just makes it really hard). It is not a function of one's marital status, but rather the fulfilling of roles needed by the child (not to mention finances and oversight). That "bad behavior" can occur in "in tact" families doesn't mean that divorces or abandoned children(how I would describe the situation where a parent has a child and is minimally involved outside of a financial contribution) do not face superior challenges to those families where both parents are present and productive.

Submitted by Cheri_Elferis on Thu, 10/24/2013 - 07:27

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Cheri Elferis

My husband and I work with teenagers, and I do have to say that we have a disproportionately large number of teens with emotional and social problems that come from a one-parent household. Almost none of our "troubled" teens come from two-parent homes. That's not to say that single parents can't raise perfectly well-adjusted children, but that hasn't been the lion share of our experience.
Corey Bearak

Really disagree here. Issue of resources and environment. Some have help, family, extended family -- that "village" -- and others. That does not relieve anyone of of responsibility for irresponsible acts and choices. People can learn and make better decisions, and those who make big bucks off of them cannot ignore their responsibility to help and guide and lead.

Submitted by NULL (not verified) on Mon, 10/28/2013 - 01:14

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I commend Erik for his forthrightness with regard to a terrible societal ill. I've been married for nearly 24 years. My wife and I are sane people who embrace traditional values and thank fortune we're financially solvent. We live in a wonderful and nurturing community, have terrific friends and neighbors and both of us come from stable families.

That said, raising three (nice, bright, relatively easy-going) children is a CHORE. How can anyone can expect a positive child-rearing outcome where a child's father (or father surrogate) is absent is beyond me. Fact is that boys need male role models; I well remember at my 50th birthday party a few years ago where each of my children spoke. My son went last, and he said, "I'm not as charming as Ali, and I'm not as cute as Caroline,but I just want to thank my father for teaching me what it is to be man." We were twenty-one people in that room, and no one said a syllable for about thirty seconds.

And these athletes and other celebrities who glorify having children and then ignoring them are contemptable. Period.

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