Its About Parenting

Post Date

Mon, 03/25/2019 - 00:00

Categories

Lifestyle

I have been somewhat intrigued with the latest scandal that’s been in the news, Operation Varsity Blues. The parents of some of the nation’s wealthiest and most privileged students sought to buy spots for their children at top universities by cheating on entrance exams or faking athletic credentials.

This scandal brings up so many issues that warrant discussion. What I find very intriguing, however, is the issue of parenting style. Julia Roberts was quoted as saying, that the scandal highlights the lack of faith the parents involved had in their children. In discussing the issue at the Gotham Dinner Group, Victoria Drogin spoke very eloquently about different parenting styles. She discussed what us baby boomers have often been accused of, being “helicopter parents.” That being, a parent who takes an overprotective or excessive interest in the lives of their children.

Victoria referenced the parents involved in the scandal as being “snow plow parents.” Victoria’s definition of that style was a parent who “plows the road” for their child. The third type of parenting style Victoria discussed was “tow truck parents.” Tow truck parents allow their children to go forth on their own and come to their rescue when they make a major mistake.

What is your parenting style?

Comments

Corey Bearak

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Interesting question. I certainly believe in opening a door but also in leaving it to the child to seize the opening.
What also works very well involves keeping up a good relationship so your child listens when you share stories aka experiences “endured” by you and others advising on situations past and how dealt with good and bad outcomes - so they might avoid a repeat of any bad history adapted to the present.

Carly Bentley

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I'm a GenX'er and I probably am a blend between the helicopter parent and the tow truck parent. What I have learned is that it's in the mistakes that kids/people grow most, so when my son manages a misstep, I've gotten really good at allowing him to 'fix' his mess. I keep a good sense of humor around parenting, but I do go a little nuts when/if someone is picking a fight with him. We only want the best for our kids, but the best is to allow them to do their own bidding. Great topic!

Fred Klein

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I exercised tough love, but did advocate SAT tutors and made essay suggestions.

Marilyn Genoa

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Interesting, giving it thought I think I am a combination, with a heavy emphasis on "tow truck", and very little of the "snow plow". I was accused by my then elementary school daughter of being "overprotective" for all the world to see in a Kidsday article when my daughter's class in elementary school was interviewed----because I didn't let her ride her bike on our street which was very curvy without sidewalks and a lot more treed in those days, however that is a very different kind of protection I believe and have no regrets despite the many phone calls I received that Sunday morning when the article appeared. I have always let my children know I will always be there for them, that their decisions are theirs to make. I love the three comments before mine ----indeed quite interesting.

Riva Schwartz

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I suppose I am a tow truck, however the only mistake my son has made is being happy as Senior ADA, Brooklyn and NOT coming in to our practice

Victoria Drogin

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I have to say I didn’t come up with any of these descriptions on my own, but was so intrigued when I heard them. I believe I’ve been all three in different contexts and at different times - and actually, now that I think if it, with different kids!
That was a great conversation. Dinner Group is awesome! Come visit us!

ODEY RAVIV

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Wish I was there with You and dinner group.
As an Executive Functioning Coach for High Schoolers and College Students I have encountered all three parent types.
The struggle to let parents leave their young adults to function independently is a battle.
I tell them that my job is 3 fold.
First, provide skills and strategies to work successfully. Second to step away and let your child navigate without you. Third step, is to remove me, too! Parents must have belief and patience. They can always be a sounding board and provide inspiration!