Submitted by Rona_Gura on

My Ring

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Lifestyle

 

With the publication of “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying-up, the Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing,” the process of decluttering is a topic that there has recently been a lot of interest in  the media. One of the author’s basic premises is only keep an object if, when holding it, it brings you “joy.”

 

 

In reading the reviews and commentaries about the book, I’ve often thought about the period of time right after my Mom died. I stood in my parents’ house with my Dad and he asked me to clean out my Mom's belongings as he could not. He told me that my sister and I could have whatever we wanted and we would donate to charity the rest of her possessions.

 

 

Hours later, my Dad was shocked to see that almost all of my Mom’s belongings were in the donation pile. I had saved for my sister my Mom’s engagement ring (my sister “called” it first), my Mom’s wedding band for me and a bracelet for my brother’s wife. My Mom did not have a lot of jewelry. She did not like to spend money on herself. The only other piece of jewelry she had was a necklace comprised of charms she wore every day; each charm representing one of her grandchildren. I took the necklace apart and gave each grandchild their charm.

 

 

My Dad begged me and my sister to take more of her belongings such as her leather coat and pocketbooks. We both declined telling my Dad that the rings were enough. And they were. We each wear the rings every day. And, every so often, we will call one another and tell the other that we were thinking about our Mom while looking at her ring on our finger. In a way, the rings bring us each a sense of joy.

 

 

What possession brings you joy?

Comments

Corey Bearak

My music collection. Marisa "claimed" the vinyl and the will gives it to her. She already has the glove. Not sure if anyone will claim the bat. My collection of tickets; my Poco, etc. tees and hoodie and my John Fogerty hoodie. My website and my writings and I have given thought to how best to keep it out there. My CDs signed by Richie Furay.
Cayce Crown

Timely topic for me. My Dad brought each of us 4 children an Eskimo(are we supposed to say Inuit, now?) face small mug from his military Alaska trip in 1959. The other morning mine was missing from the cupboard when I got up. I remembered my dear wife saying that the cleaning person had broken something, I can't begin to tell you the RAGE that engulfed me and how I clearly was going to "do her in." Over this 57 year old mug. Of course, the mug was by my dear wife's bedside and she wisely reminded me that my love for my father exists outside this mug. Amazing how attached I was without even knowing it. Working on detaching from more things, not that there's anything wrong with that...

Submitted by Cheri_Elferis on Mon, 02/08/2016 - 03:43

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Cheri Elferis

I too, every day, wear my grandmother's diamond engagement ring and my mother's wedding band. Now that we are relocating, we have had to go through, clean out, and throw away a lot of "stuff", some of it very sentimental. The really treasured items I have passed on to my friends' children. It's true - you don't realize how much you attach a sentiment to an object until you have to part with it. Not easy but I keep telling myself: I am embarking on a new journey, and some of my possessions are starting on their own new journey, as well.
Paul Napolitano

My dad passed away over 30 years ago. He was an artist and I have a few of his paintings. They bring me a lot of joy.

He had this small plant on his desk that continues to bring me joy on a daily basis. It had grown to about 9 feet tall when Victoria talked me into splitting it up into smaller sections. I potted some of the sections and recently gave them to my siblings. They were thrilled. It was great to give them something from my dad that was still alive after all these years.

Submitted by MarilynGenoa on Mon, 02/08/2016 - 04:14

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Marilyn Genoa

Beautiful thoughts. The joys are the warmths of the memories. When my parents passed away my sister, my brother and I each chose items from my parents home that now are in our homes, some were originally from our grandparents. Each time I visit my sister or my brother and pass by one of my mother's pieces it indeed makes me happy. I know in my heart however that it is unlikely that our children will ultimately want, or be able to use, all of these items. I took great comfort in Rona's blog and the responses that followed. When my children ultimately choose just the few items that truly bring them joy, the joy and happiness I have felt from the remaining pieces may indeed be transferred to others as our treasured memories become memories for another family.
Ester Horowitz

I think there is something about jewelry that binds the generations together. I have in my possession my mother and grandmother's engagement ring which is one and the same. My engagement ring and wedding band were stolen a few years ago. Thanks to Marvin Soskel, we took some of the jewelry from my mother, my father, and myself which all had diamonds of various degrees, shapes and sizes, and we created a new set of wedding rings. These have greater meaning and joy because they have history and bind generations in a way that could not happen otherwise
Rona Gura

Comment from my sister who is not a Gotham member-"You made me cry."

Submitted by Judy_Heft on Mon, 02/08/2016 - 05:47

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Judy Heft

My silver key chain that was my dad's and says "Sid". I use it every day. My mother's jewelry that I wear. My daughter wears my grandmother's wedding band every day and It makes me feel so good when I see her hand. And I also love using my mother and grandmother's dishes. They bring me back to wonderful memories of special holidays.
Nancy Schess

Rona, this blog is one of your best. Made me look at the ring I am wearing today. My mom is very much still with us but within the last months she has given me a few pieces of her jewelry. I love wearing each and every piece and subconsciously find myself picking one of her pieces every day. They just make me feel warm.
Rona Gura

Cayce, your comment reminded me about the Geisha china doll that my dad brought me back from Japan in 1970. I'm looking at it sitting on my night table and smiling.

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