I woke up this morning feeling like I had a horrible nightmare, feeling like I'm mourning the death of my closest friend. But to have to accept the fact that it's reality is a nightmare itself. No one knows the pain that the media & unwanted opinions from the public has caused my family. To make us relive a moment in our lives that we regret everyday is a horrible thing.

To take something away from the man I love that he has worked his ass off for all his life just to gain ratings is horrific. THIS IS OUR LIFE! What don't you all get. If your intentions were to hurt us, embarrass us, make us feel alone, take all happiness away, you've succeeded on so many levels. Just know we will continue to grow & show the world what real love is! Ravensnation we love you!"

That was the statement issued yesterday by the victim in the Ray Rice tragedy, Janay Palmer Rice.

While everyone else in the world was patting themselves on the back at what they had accomplished (they being the public and the media), the woman that had taken the brunt of the abuse, was feeling abused all over again.  Let's see, first you get punched in the face, then you get humiliated all over the television, then your family loses possibly the last $16M in income they may ever make.

With advocates like that, who needs abusive husbands?

Hurt, embarrassed, alone, unhappy...that's how we have made her feel.  That sounds an awful lot like the feelings that abused women have described...except that he didn't do that to her, we did.  We have now become the abuser of the woman who was assaulted that night in the elevator.

The only thing worse than an abusive husband is an unemployed abusive husband.  The worst part about this entire situation is that despite everything the rejoicing mob believes they have contributed to the cause of domestic violence, they have done nothing, not one thing to curb domestic violence.   In fact, if anything, this torch and pitchfork led effort has in all likelihood made it worse.  If you think that victims are hesitant to come out and report it now, imagine what these women will do now that they can be assured that their family will lose its income and be publicly humiliated.

People are scared to death.  You can see it in their faces as they are interviewed.  They will do and say anything just to escape the angry mob and the damage they can inflict upon you if you are not careful.  Robotic, terrified responses.

People can speculate whether this was a case of an abusive husband who got caught, or a couple who just had the worst drunken night/fight of their lives and made huge mistakes (his obviously much worse than hers).  I don't believe that the original suspension was enough, but I also don't believe that the situation as we know it justified completely destroying this family and their relationships (they named their daughter "Rayven" after the team they both spent the entire lives with and were now ejected from).    Everybody felt completely comfortable describing Janay as an abused wife and assumed that she is just acting the way all abused wives act.  I've even seen newscasters offensively rolling their eyes and scoffing at her reaction.  The truth is though, nobody but them know, and she seems pretty adamant that it's not the case.

The law showed mercy on them and allowed them to enter a domestic violence rehabilitation program that was probably designed by domestic violence advocates.  You can choose to agree with that or not.  The league suspended him 2 games, which probably wasn't enough, but whether it was 2, 4, 6 or a full season probably wasn't going to change much of what happened or what would happen to others in the future.  But all of that wasn't enough for people.  It wasn’t enough red meat to make people feel better after they were forced to watch the injustice on that video.  They wanted more.  They didn't want more because it would help Janay Palmer Rice.  They didn't want more because it would deter domestic violence in the future.  They wanted more because it would make them feel better...and we are nothing if not self-indulgent and dedicated to our own instant gratification.

If I had to honestly choose between taking a punch to the jaw or being feasted upon by this savage, hideous monster, having my life completely destroyed in the process, I would take the punch to the jaw...but that's just me...and probably Janay Palmer Rice.  I can't speak for anyone else.

This whole horrific fiasco will do nothing but deter women from speaking out and testifying...and most of them won't have videos of the crime with which to bother us.