Submitted by Erik_Scheibe on

To Be, Or Not To Be

Post Date
Categories
Lifestyle

Mitch's blog this past week tapped into something that has been rattling around in my mind.  My way has always been to try and fix things, to create discussion, to inquire when I am not sure about something, to present my ideas when I feel strongly about something.

 

From about 1992 when I graduated college until maybe about four years ago, I used to openly and comfortably talk politics with people.  I used to fearlessly engage in topical discussion, not worrying because I felt that I was always honest and always presented my ideas amicably and without venom.  On the rare occasion, someone else might get upset about the topic, I never reciprocated.  I would speak about things face-to-face, write essays about topics, e-mails, etc.  Sadly, I believe people are different.

 

I find it shocking the way people converse with others when they are protected by the unsavory shield that is their keyboard.  I am stunned at how quickly people attack each other personally and I don't understand it.  A lot of it may be Facebook or the Facebook culture, but if you've ever read the comments after any article on the internet...some of them about the most bland topics, it takes about 5-7 comments before people are calling each other names...just because they disagree.

 

I watch the news about Ferguson, MO and I see people on both sides so entrenched and emotionally invested in their opinions (commitments?) that they will never, ever budge.  I have this feeling in my gut that something really bad is going to come from this. It's over a thousand miles away, or is it?

 

Back to Mitch's blog, I'm sick of it.  Completely and thoroughly sick of it.  I have always felt the responsibility to try and be a change agent.  To never turn my cheek from something that might be wrong.  To try to shed light on the truth.  Trust me when I tell you I understand how much easier it is to stay out of the fray.  I do imagine that if I just started avoiding negativity, I might be happier.

 

I sometimes wonder how it could be everybody else, maybe it's me.  Then I realize that everybody isn't doing it to me, I just see it (and maybe internalize it too much).  If I backed away completely, would it go away?  Then how could it be all me?

 

That is what I'm contemplating now.  Just walking away from it.  Letting it go.  I'm sure there are plenty of liberals on here that would love that.  I have always looked at walking away as a shirking of personal responsibility to some extent (I'm sure Fred will call it quitting).  But maybe the time has come for me to just back out and place all of my energy and emotion into enjoying my family and my home, to set the load of bricks down.

 

It feels wrong, but I really am sick of it.  I am getting sick of people.  Yet, I always have this voice in the back of my mind saying..."what if everybody did that?"

Comments

Submitted by VikramRajan on Tue, 08/26/2014 - 21:16

Permalink
Vik Rajan

Apathy & ignorance are the luxuries we enjoy, like the wars on distant shores of which we shan't be annoyed. Lest the grim ire of righteousness be our own voiced. A cloudy reign over us be our only choice. ...an early morning hmm.

Submitted by NULL (not verified) on Tue, 08/26/2014 - 22:35

Permalink

i call it respect for other's opinions. sometimes people might keep quiet not because they are stupid, or ignorant, or they don't care,but because they respect what other people might believe or think. And no one has the right to impose their opinion on others forcefully. At the same time, if something is right and you need to speak up for yourself or for others, then of course that voice has to heard. Still, religion and politics are always complicated and very fragile topics. Arguments can be non sense, but opinion should always be shared with respect.

Submitted by NULL (not verified) on Wed, 08/27/2014 - 02:23

Permalink

Here's something: http://www.engadget.com/2014/08/27/social-networks-encourage-political-silence/?ncid=rss_truncated ~~ Vik, not logged in

Submitted by TheodoreLanzaro on Wed, 08/27/2014 - 02:30

Permalink
Theodore Lanzaro

People would be much happier if they confined their discussions to food, wine, art, sex, music and travel. I have made a conscious decision to only discuss those things unless I am being paid for my opinion. :) As far as what goes on in other parts of the country or world, I don't watch or think about them because I cannot control their outcome. I reserve all my energy for things I can make a difference doing. I am a happy, positive person as a result.
Corey Bearak

Much easier to attach the speaker than the speaker's comments. Done in politics all the time. I aim to eschew the personal when I comment; at the same time, got to admit well-structured data-based comments can cut as well.

Submitted by StephenMichel on Wed, 08/27/2014 - 02:44

Permalink
Stephen Michel

I hope you don"t become silent. If you do then the individuals that support political correctness or my opinion is the only correct opinion will win. There will always be "bullies", who feel that if they say it loud enough and long enough their opinion will prevail. As an example I use the people on the left who mocked, harassed and denigrated President Bush; and the people on the right who are doing the same thing to President Obama.

In the pre-internet days I had to talk to people that were different than me and had different opinions. Today I can talk to only people that agree with me. I worry about a society that does that. therefore keep expressing your opinion. This society needs open, POLITE debate.
Riva Schwartz

First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Socialist.

Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Trade Unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.

Submitted by NULL (not verified) on Wed, 08/27/2014 - 05:42

Permalink

Donna Levine wrote you cam make change on a small scale, local politics etc. If enough people work small a huge result will happen
Ester Horowitz

First, ditto to what Riva said. Second, it's important to listen to the thoughts and feelings of others so we can attempt to understand their positions and why they have them. Then it's up to ourselves to determine if those positions have merit. There is a difference between being a bully, taking a stance that my way is the only way, or having constructive dialogue. Not everyone is capable or blessed with the ability to move past their perspectives and mindsets to see another's. Most assume that what they feel and experience is the same for the next guy. How radically wrong we are in that assumption. I find myself becoming more vocal than less as I age. But I also find myself wanting to push away to an "outer circle" people that cannot for what ever reason allow anyone's opinions but their own to prevail. I seek to find the joy in people rather than the differences and to build common ground on that. Continue to be who you are and what you do not because you want to change someone's mind as the goal, but because your voice brings value to the dialogue and will resonate authentically in its own good time.
Erik Scheibe

Yeah, but didn't we used to find joy in people's differences?

Submitted by Erik_Scheibe on Wed, 08/27/2014 - 07:51

Permalink
Erik Scheibe

I have always believed that as well. It is truly an exercise in faith.

Submitted by Erik_Scheibe on Wed, 08/27/2014 - 07:55

Permalink
Erik Scheibe

It is an excerpt that people all know, but in which few believe. I love speaking about perspective. People in Gotham have a much better understanding of how close WWII and it's tragedies was. Most other people in society see it so much further in the rear view mirror, ancient American history like the Civil War and the American Revolution. People view tyranny as if it were something mythical or from another world.

Submitted by Erik_Scheibe on Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:02

Permalink
Erik Scheibe

Thanks for the comment, wish I knew who you were :)

All good points, but sometimes arguments can be enlightening if engaged in with honesty and an open heart and mind.
Erik Scheibe

...and I have always appreciated your thirst for diverse thoughts, Sometimes burdened, lol, but always appreciative.

Submitted by Erik_Scheibe on Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:09

Permalink
Erik Scheibe

Isn't sex more dangerous these days than politics?

Submitted by Erik_Scheibe on Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:10

Permalink
Erik Scheibe

Corey needs to re-teach both of us how to use hyperlinks, lol

interesting piece on same topic, comments actually more interesting than the article

Submitted by NULL (not verified) on Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:14

Permalink

For all the talking, it's really the actions that matter. And yet talking can be eyeopening, engaging, and also repelling. If your action is to talk then continue talking, especially if it makes you feel good, because in the end it's really all that matters. If you feel good, then so do those you touch.

Submitted by Erik_Scheibe on Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:19

Permalink
Erik Scheibe

There should be an awful lot of real estate in between "apathy & ignorance" and "the grim ire of righteousness."

Submitted by Erik_Scheibe on Wed, 08/27/2014 - 08:20

Permalink
Erik Scheibe

When you think of a bully, you think of one big kid amongst others imposing tyranny. What happens when society becomes the bully (as you mentioned with political correctness. Perhaps that is the modern day American tyranny.

Submitted by NULL (not verified) on Wed, 08/27/2014 - 09:15

Permalink

I spend time and energy experimenting with making statements as if they were my own beliefs, and then trying to imagine what kind of life experience would produce that kind of belief. It's quite challenging. Sometimes the best I can do is come up with something like, "I don't agree, but if I were you, I might." The whole purpose of my exercise is to let go of judging. When I do it, I remain curious but much less irritable.

One of the other exercises I've found challenging is to try speaking without banana peel words—words that pave the way for judgment because there is an implied assessment behind them. The following list came from my friend and coach, Deborah Carter. Here they are:
right, wrong, good, bad, better, worse, positive, negative, should, should not, could, could not, would, would not, need, have to, want, wish.

The first time I tried getting through the day without those words, I could hardly get out a thought. That was a year ago, and I'm having less trouble with it now. If you try it, I'd be interested in hearing how it goes.
Have a great weekend. Jacqui Bishop

Submitted by Erik_Scheibe on Thu, 08/28/2014 - 01:34

Permalink
Erik Scheibe

interesting
Erik Scheibe

Actually Rona, I have done it before and it was for the better. Perhaps there is a better iteration of me yet to be discovered. I often use the quote from the former head of NASA that it is the height of ignorance to assume that the weather that currently exists on Earth is what it should be throughout eternity (or something like that).

While in this case, the term ignorance is certainly directed toward me and not you, could the same concept apply? Could it not be the ultimate expression of either ignorance or arrogance to think that the person we are today is the same person that should be grasped on to with clenched fingers throughout eternity?

Add new comment

About text formats

Restricted HTML

  • Allowed HTML tags: <a href hreflang> <em> <strong> <cite> <blockquote cite> <code> <ul type> <ol start type> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd> <h2 id> <h3 id> <h4 id> <h5 id> <h6 id>
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • Web page addresses and email addresses turn into links automatically.