A Lesson Never Learned

Categories
Lifestyle

The hostess at one of our favorite restaurants in the Berkshires led us to our “quiet” table in the back dining room. Only a few tables in the room that was usually reserved for private parties -- one table of six, a table of four, another two at one table, and us.


I learned a long time ago to never talk about private matters in public and never, never assume that nobody knows what you are talking about.


It was at the table of six. One of the men, younger than the others, was a lawyer. I am not sure whether he was trying to impress the others, had too much to drink, simply had poor judgment, or had never learned the lesson about speaking in public. Perhaps it was a combination of all four. And, he was loud. Although I was across the room -- and don't have the best hearing -- I heard him clearly.


He talked about cases, other attorneys -- several of whom I knew -- giving details that caused me to shudder. At one point, I was tempted to walk over to him and offer my insight into one of the attorneys that he mentioned in a not-so-favorable light.


We were over a hundred miles from the City and maybe he presumed that no-one within earshot would know any of the names...or perhaps, even worse, his attempt to impress outweighed his better judgment.


We left after a wonderful meal as I looked over my shoulder at a fellow attorney who apparently never learned an important lesson.

Comments

Fred Klein

I would have said something, but I have less discretion than you. :)
Flo Feinberg

Not to mention the conversation overheard in our local bagel store by a lawyer mom on her cellphone discussing a case while her son silently ate his bagel; she never stopped, even when she returned from the ladies' room, phone still on ear....how did she wash her hands??

Submitted by Liz_Saldana on Thu, 05/28/2015 - 01:16

Permalink
Liz Saldana

This reminds me of one of my favorite stories. In another career, I was a Sales & Contracts Negotiator for a NY software company. At that time I also went dancing at a place in NYC call Denim and Diamonds. One night while waiting at the bar for a soda, I overheard the guy next to me (an attorney) complaining about a negotiation with a "B.... who would not give an inch on some clause in the standard agreement." He went on, providing enough details for me to recognize the deal.

I tapped him on the shoulder, put on my best smile and introduced myself as the "B...." on the other end of the deal he was talking about. I had the contract the next day with no more requests for changes. :)

Submitted by NULL (not verified) on Thu, 05/28/2015 - 04:37

Permalink

So true! such an invaluable lesson: what we say does always hugely matter, whether overheard or not. Recall a colleague investment advisor once rode up the elevator on his way to one of the most important to date presentation/sales calls of his life. He had waited 6 months to have the chance to visit w/ CEO of a privately held oil and gas exploration company. Rode up the elevator with a (completely quiet, dontcha know..) young woman, all the while he was regaling his junior partner with how he was going to say and do what to whom. This advisor became concerned when she got off at the top floor with him. and lost most of his verve and had already lost all of his dignity as he proceeded to give his presentation to her, the daughter of the company's founder and CFO.
Tom Gallin

Being the second youngest of a large family, I learned early to watch what you say in public. There were (and sometimes still are) few places I could go that someone did not know me or a family member. If I said or did something wrong word of it got back home before I did. I learned quickly that if you have nothing nice to say say nothing at all & that you never know who is listening.
Cynthia Somma

The first thing that comes to mind is any annoyingly loud conversation at dinner is rude (unless your home of course).
Not many people know that I am hispanic (thanks to my mother's Irish heritage). My daughter was born with a large hemangioma on her forehead when she was born. As she grew it became even larger. When I took her out I covered her up with hats because I was tired of answering questions that I really couldn't answer (no it could not be surgically removed and so on)---Did it bother me when people stared, not at all, she was and still is a beautiful girl.
Now for the fun part, try standing in line at the grocery store, the amusement park (two older sons) arena's--etc...and the people behind you are speaking in Spanish commenting, Oh my god, she must have hit that baby. That poor thing, what a terrible mother...and as Tom wrote above, if you have nothing nice to say, don't say it....in any language....and don't assume.
I also had a midget come up to me while I was holding her in her car seat, he called his friends over and said...hey guys...."Come and look @ this Freak". I actually felt bad for HIM.
Corey Bearak

It happens all the time. Lessons never learned. People continue to forget how small the world remains.

Submitted by SoniaSaleh on Fri, 05/29/2015 - 01:45

Permalink
Sonia Saleh

If you don't have something nice to say about someone most certainly dont say it in a public space.

Add new comment

Restricted HTML

  • Allowed HTML tags: <a href hreflang> <em> <strong> <cite> <blockquote cite> <code> <ul type> <ol start type> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd> <h2 id> <h3 id> <h4 id> <h5 id> <h6 id>
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • Web page addresses and email addresses turn into links automatically.