Nursing Homes

Post Date

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 00:05

Categories

Health

My father in law is a 92 year old WW II veteran and was my surrogate father when it mattered. To look at him you would never know. He has his hair and it is still mostly naturally brown. He has lost much of his belly, but his cheeks are full and he could be an ARRP poster boy.

However, as it must for all of us, his body and mind are failing him. Anyone of a certain age has experienced it with their parents as they seemingly reverse roles with their children.

At this juncture it has been highly recommended that we explore the nursing home option and we did so.

Did it smell? Was it old and tired? Was the staff putting in time? Was it expensive ($370/day for a shared room)? Would he only get a shower twice a week? Would he sit in the Day Room with other warehoused elders staring in the distance or sleeping with their heads on the table?

It was a rude, brutal awakening. My only thought was DON'T GET OLD!

Comments

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First impressions can be deceiving. Don't look for the decorations, look at how the staff interacts with the residents - that is what counts. There are many good one where the staff is attentive and caring and your loved one is safe, protected and cared for 24 hours a day. My Mom was loved and cared for by amazing staff who cried with us when she passed and many attended her funeral Mass. The outside of the nursing home - old and tired - the hearts of many of the staff- loving and caring. Good luck in your search for the perfect next home for your Father-in-Law

Vincent Serro

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My wife is the director of one of The Bristal Assisted Living facilities. I stop in her building quite a bit. They have residents who are in the alzheimers section that are literally unable to remember what happened five minutes ago, to people alert and active enough where they can still go out to play tennis a few days per week. I am amazed at how much patience she and her staff have to deal with the very different needs of her residents. I am also amazed at how random life can be that some people are so active and alert and others are unable to get through the day without a lot of help. Sometimes I get fearful thinking about what the future holds for me. Mostly though, I just hope I have a shot to make it that far and take my chances.

Rona Gura

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I toured quite a few facilities for my Dad before he passed. I, actually, had an expectedly good experience. I was impressed with every facility we saw. What became the issue for us with each facility was the prices of the "add-ons," options i.e. showering the patients, accompanying them to doctors appointments etc.

Corey Bearak

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Not the easiest thing to do. I recall memories of my grandma in a home in college point -- never sure why grandpa chose it; I recall Shelly's dad in a home in hollis.
Later when Grandpa moved to be near my aunt in Yorktown Heights, grandma was with him and he had an aide six days.
We have VHS that I need to transfer of her with Jonathan. In grandma's case the body betrayed the mind.
From some prior work I did, I had seen many different homes in many settings, ditto assisted living.
The key thing is family involvement and getting proper guidance (fortunately Gotham has many who can help in this regard). A close friend - Fred you met them - has a mom in her 90s and she has live in help and gets around. Another still lives in her own home and during summers sits with our crowd at the pool (we see Roz more than her daughter Amy.) Heck I marvel at your sports prowess at 7 decades.....

Judy Mauer

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i wasn't planning on it

Riva Schwartz

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Alan & I chose to keep his parents in their own home. We started with a daily aide, progressed to a live-in, then incorporated the entire family of the live-in to live in for even more coverage.

Donald Bernstein

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My father in law is 93 though you would never guess it. Still lives at home.

Lucas Meyer

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It's tough... We kept Mother at home until the last week of her life, when she went to hospice at Calvary in the Bronx. The trick was having the absolute best caregiver in the world, 24/7/365. And it's a lot cheaper than $370/day! More dignified, too, I'd argue.

Erik Scheibe

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I have made a determination for the future. It is not just to not get old, but rather to get younger. Without sucking up, you, your attitude and your fitness have actually been an inspiration...as have Prte Townshend and Roger Daltrey. If you all can do it, I can certainly do it with the proper motivation and work ethic.

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