Submitted by Fred on

Perspective

Categories
Lifestyle

Two weeks ago I posted my "No Thanks Given" blog (listing my reaction to irksome conduct of others) on the day after Thanksgiving and received a healthy 19 comments.

The comment which motivates and foretold this blog came from Dinner Group member Ted Lanzaro who wrote: All of these are "princess problems".  Being truly grateful means being thankful for the good things in life despite petty nuisances.

Today, probably in your neighborhood:

Someone is terminally ill
Someone has lost a child
Someone has lost a parent
Someone has lost their house for financial reasons and a host of other problems."

Ted, no sycophant he,  ended with "Your post makes you sound more like a Kardashian sister than a leader."

I replied on the blog to this barb as follows: Thank you for the Constructive criticism. I agree. FYI, my wife did not want me to post the blog, but I am very ordinary and if I did not post it I would not have heard from you. Thanks again."

Little did we know that on the same morning of our exchange that good friends were discovering their 32-year-old son had passed away peacefully in his sleep after spending Thanksgiving with his family.

As Ted said "someone has lost a child".  I knew that child and he was briefly a member of Gotham's young pros and mentored by Linda Queenie Newman.

I was asked to eulogize this fine young man and, of course, Ted's comments came back to me. The final eulogy was given by his mother who poignantly said a mother should never have to eulogize her son.

Thanks again Ted for your words which we should all heed!

Comments

Submitted by NULL (not verified) on Thu, 12/11/2014 - 20:37

Permalink

We who are healthy and who's friends and family are well - are extremely lucky. Everything else are just details:
Benjamin Geizhals

Everyday, on the News, there is something that puts things into true perspective.

Submitted by NULL (not verified) on Thu, 12/11/2014 - 22:35

Permalink

Perspective, and knowing what matters helps. Thanks for reminder to think about it, and breathe. Scott Bloom. Still don't know why my posts show as anonymous.

Submitted by MindyStern on Thu, 12/11/2014 - 23:03

Permalink
Mindy Stern

From time to time we all need to be reminded of what really matters in life! Keep life in perspective and enjoy each day to its fullest.
Cayce Crown

Yes, we know those are "princess problems."
It can be very soothing to commiserate with my tribe over silly First World problems.
Life is way too short to worry about any of it.

"The problems of 3 little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world."

Submitted by Lucas_Meyer on Fri, 12/12/2014 - 00:17

Permalink
Lucas Meyer

Fred, you are ANYTHING but "ordinary"; I think you meant "ornery."

How sad that a young guy of only 32 years of age should die suddenly.

Submitted by NULL (not verified) on Fri, 12/12/2014 - 00:55

Permalink

Being a leader requires being a good follower. Sometimes we're the teacher sometimes the student. Thank you Ted for sharing your thoughts and thank you Fred for sharing this ... It is indeed a matter of perspective.

Submitted by NULL (not verified) on Fri, 12/12/2014 - 01:06

Permalink

I recently tried a case against a very capable, but extremely cocky adversary. I don't relate well to another attorney's over-confidence and boasting, and his aggressive demeanor damn near frightened my client to death. By the third day, we started to interact on a personal level, and I learned about his special needs child and the rather difficult relationship he has with certain close family members. My biggest problem at the time were trial jitters. His were and are far more significant.
Corey Bearak

I have lost friends going back to high school before what we would call their time. Always humbling. Just the other day, a friend shared the news of dealing with two weddings but his son endure brain cancer. The friend (and his wife) both did and do much good. Another, a good friend of a close friend lost their daughter because she was in the driver's seat of her boyfriend's car. These and others remind me to treasure the days we get and the opportunities we get to share with others.

Submitted by NULL (not verified) on Fri, 12/12/2014 - 02:50

Permalink

Yeah Brother...Perspective. I was surprised by your Kardashian Rant ! I thought you had progressed to a more spiritual side. Joanne was right. You shouldn't have sent it. BUT...I'm glad you did because it allows me at 3000 miles away to "take your pulse and your temperature!" I've been trying to figure out the mind set of that post....ya gotta get back to smelling the roses brother ! Joanne...The kids ....The grandkids...Charcoal...The house....The memories...The friends...a fire in the fire place, a good single malt...maybe less Plandome and the boney asses and more of the good stuff that got you here ! Kiss Joanne on the lips and then kiss Charcoal on the lips and then drive out to Quogue and French Kiss Archer. Let's go Bro! Get over it !!

Hollander Sends

Submitted by TheodoreLanzaro on Fri, 12/12/2014 - 09:10

Permalink
Theodore Lanzaro

Thank you, Fred. Your friend's loss of their son is very sad. I can't imagine what they are going through.

We all lose our perspective sometimes, myself included. Tonight, my girlfriend is racing to Florida to say goodbye to her mom before she passes. It is events like this and your friend's loss of their son that remind us how precious life is and that we are here is both enjoy it and be good to others, especially the people we love.

You and I have never actually met but I know from speaking to many other Gotham members that you are a great leader. I have personally benefitted from being a Gotham member through some of the great relationships I have made. So, it's my turn to say Thank You to you for leading this wonderful group.

I wish you joyous and happy holidays!

Add new comment

Restricted HTML

  • Allowed HTML tags: <a href hreflang> <em> <strong> <cite> <blockquote cite> <code> <ul type> <ol start type> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd> <h2 id> <h3 id> <h4 id> <h5 id> <h6 id>
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • Web page addresses and email addresses turn into links automatically.