I have followed the re-emerging news stories regarding allegations of sexual abuse asserted against Woody Allen by his daughter, Dylan Farrow with acute interest due to my own professional experience.
I recently completed a very long custody battle wherein I represented a father seeking custody of his two young children based on our claims that the mother was systematically and methodically alienating the children from their father. In the midst of the litigation the parties’ young daughter made very specific allegations against my client concerning improper touching. During the trial four therapists, all appointed by the court, each independently testified that the mother had engaged in disturbingly alienating behavior, my client had always acted appropriately with his children and, most importantly, no inappropriate contact had occurred.
Concluding that the mother did embark on a course of alienation and said behavior was extremely harmful to the children, the Judge granted sole custody of the children to their father, my client. After I read the court’s decision on the telephone to my client and after he had finished crying (admittedly I did too), his first statement to me was chilling, “I wonder how long it will take to undo all the damage that was done to my children.”
I do not know whether Dylan Farrow was molested. Although, given my own professional experience, I do find Mr. Allen’s case for alienation compelling. What is apparent, however, is that Ms. Farrow believes she was molested. And whether it is true or not does not make her any less of a victim. Whatever occurred, Ms. Farrow is the victim of someone who preyed on a very young child, whether it be emotionally by her mother, physically by her father, or by someone else. And, unfortunately for Ms. Farrow, she will have to live with the ramifications of that for the rest of her life.
When adults bring their personal issues to bear on their children, regrettably, they have chosen victims who are least equipped to deal with the repercussions.