“Traditional” gender roles have been swirling in my mind this week.  My daughter needed a semi surgical procedure this week and, for several practical reasons, such as he is a doctor and the date worked better into his schedule, my husband brought her to the doctor’s office and I went to work. The fact that my husband is, technically, her step father notwithstanding, I was questioned by several people as to why I did not take my daughter to the doctor’s office as, “You are her mother.” Every time I was asked that question, it felt like a knife stabbed into my heart.

The next day, I appeared in court to continue a hearing. My male client testified that since he lost his job three years ago his current wife--who was employed--paid all the bills and gave him a weekly allowance. As such, he could not accurately testify as to the costs of certain household expenses or recent trips they had taken together as he did not pay for them. The judge stopped the testimony and told him that she did not find his “feigned ignorance” as to the costs of the expenses credible.

I challenged the judge on her observation and asked her if it was female “housewife” giving the same testimony whether she would make the same findings as to the witness’ credibility. Unfortunately, sometimes you do not do well when you challenge the “queen of the courtroom.” So, I then had to work diligently to quickly settle my case. But it bothered me tremendously to do so.

How can we step out of our traditional gender roles when others are so quick to place us right back in them?