So, you all know how much I enjoy living by the water. You would think with all my life’s history as a child and now as an adult, I would enjoy a good swim. Heck, I even have a pool. But you will rarely find me in any body of water.

My fear started long ago as a child being swept by an unexpected wave and dunked under the water. I swallowed the salt water and felt sick for a long time. I never forgot that moment. Going to day camp in the summer in Brighton Beach Brooklyn, it took the counselors two summers to eventually get me into the pool (a party bag of candy helped) and I eventually learned to go under water briefly and float on my stomach. But I never could I relax enough to float on my back. The sound of the water passing over my ears brought back that wave feeling and panic would set in. I didn’t have the coordination to use my arms and legs to swim. I was and still am a dog paddler.

Then a real traumatic experience happened some years later at a sleep away camp that was off a saltwater pond in Rhode Island. I was reluctant to go in the water or try to swim and after many tries to get me into deeper water, I was picked up and thrown off a dock and down I went, swallowing salt water, gasping for air and feeling the sensation of nearly drowning. That was it. I never trusted a swim instructor again and never went under water again, at least in the sea.

So now, living surrounded by water, I watch from land. I love the sea creatures, but don’t like being under the water with them. I love boating but fear the chance I ever fall in or worse get into a boating accident, so I have not gotten a boat. It’s something that is in me and I can’t shake it. So, I just tell people I am OK with my feet or maybe up to my waist in the water. No further. And that is fine by me.

What are your fears? Was it life long feeling?