[Fredslist] Fw: Holidays Article

[Fred Klein]

As the first day of Hanukkah falls this year on Christmas Day the following article by my daughter in law Julie Klein is even more topical than otherwise. Happy, Happy Holidays!
-----Original Message-----
From: julie klein <julie2k at optonline.net>
Date: Mon, 19 Dec 2005 07:22:11 
To:Fred Klein <fklein at kzrd.com>
Subject: Holidays Article

Merry Hanukkah, Happy Christmas (which is it?)
 
By Julie A. Klein
 
 
 
 
 
            Every year around this time, people start wishing me a Happy Hanukkah.  And that’s okay with me, except that I am not Jewish.  But my husband is (half), and my kids are a mixture too.  So we sort of celebrate everything.  We get a Christmas tree, hang wreaths on the doors, put lights on the BACK of the house (my husband’s wishes), and light a menorah while singing the Dreidel song.  
 
            If you have ever watched The O.C. during the holiday season, (and I hope you haven’t), you would know that the T.V. characters celebrate Chrismakkuh!  I guess that is what we do.  And many other people I know are doing it too: blurring the lines between Christmas and Hanukkah celebrations.  
 
            One obvious reason is the increase of mixed religious marriages.  Spouses who grew up celebrating different holidays often have separate ideas about how to deal with the month of December.  The product of their combined perspectives and traditions often tends to be a mixture of what both people in the relationship can accept and embrace.
 
            A Catholic friend of mine (who suggested this topic for my column) and her Jewish husband have three kids.  They had discussed and agreed that during the holidays, she could have a Christmas tree in the house, with lights and ornaments, but there would be no lights on the outside of the house.  He said, “It’s just a little too much for me.”  For Hanukkah, they light the Menorah and sing songs.  But they do not recite any religious prayers.  They are teaching the kids about the traditions for each holiday, but they have chosen not to enroll them in any formal education program.  It works for them.
 
            I asked a child Psychologist her thoughts on the subject.  When parents decide not to raise their children as believers in any one religion, she suggests teaching children about the rituals and traditions for each holiday to learn the history of the respective customs.   This can be a helpful way for a child to make some sense of it all.  She would not limit this education to Judaism and Christianity, but rather suggests that children would benefit from learning about many religious traditions.
 
            Another Catholic woman and her Jewish husband make an effort to teach their children about every holiday, including celebrations such as Cinco de Mayo and the Chinese New Year.  As for Christmas and Hanukkah, they find relevant stories, crafts, games and recipes for both holidays.  She makes a booklet out of the items and reads the stories to the kids at the dinner table.  They put up a Christmas tree and light a candle on the Menorah each night and she prepares food customary for both holidays.  Her kids enjoy the flavor of both celebrations.  She says, “All in all, we do a well rounded traditional celebration for all of the holidays.  What is most important to us is family – and that we are healthy, happy, loving, knowledgeable and well-rounded people.  Isn’t that what life is all about?”
 
            Another friend is herself from a mixed marriage (her mom is Jewish and her dad was Catholic) and her husband is Catholic.  Although they agreed to raise the kids Catholic, complete with a formal religious education, they also celebrate the Jewish holidays, lighting the Menorah each night during Hanukkah.  (And she comes to my house for Rosh Hashanah).
 
            One Jewish family I know that celebrates Hanukkah buys a “Hanukkah Tree” each year.  The mom said, “As soon as my daughter realized that Jews don’t have Christmas trees, she was begging me to convert!”  So for the past two years, this family buys a tree and decorates it with blue and silver lights, dreidels and menorah ornaments.  
 
            One Catholic family I know also succumbed to their daughter’s wishes for a Menorah.  Last year, they bought a Menorah and placed it on the kitchen window sill.  What an open-minded child they are raising.  And finally, a Jewish friend from Port Washington and some of her friends go Caroling on Christmas Eve.  Perhaps it is just “Jingle Bells” they are singing, but they are singing to their neighbors! 
 
            I know there are purists who are reading this article with some surprise, and possibly even some discomfort.  And that is okay too.  Christmas, Hanukkah and other religious holidays are not only about the lights, trees, candles and presents.  There is a much bigger picture involved.  But because some of us are in mixed relationships, we may not feel comfortable teaching our kids to stick to just one belief.  
 
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            It is all about comfort and tolerance.  If we show our children that we are open to learning about customs and traditions that we may not completely understand or choose to celebrate, then maybe we are teaching comfort and tolerance on some level.  I think it will do the world some good.  Happy Holidays!
 
Please submit any comments by email to julie2k at optonline.net
 
Copyright © 2005 Julie A. Klein. All Rights Reserved.  
 
 
 
 
 
 

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